25th March, 1915

My beloved little mouse! The fall of Przemysl is the only topic of conversation here! A small war has broken out, opinion against opinion, view against view, and fierce words are being exchanged. Another spike in the crown of thorns! For us it is disagreeable since we are living in a company with German officers and vis-à-vis them we feel as if we had done something wrong.

It is becoming more and more unbearable! I think my nerves are starting to play up again. Restlessness drives me from place to place, I have no patience for work anymore. In a word it is real torture. This does not mean that I am complaining about our circumstances in general, because we are really not treated any worse that an officer taken prisoner of war can expect. The small issues, the reactions of the body and spirit make me feel the full weight of our predicament. Add to this my longing for you! This is not "Heimweh" in the usual sense. Painful, almost morbid feelings, hot, melancholical thoughts chase one after the other through the brain which works anyway in a sentimental direction.

On top of this the fact that I am absolutely without news from you, without any knowledge of what is happening with you. And when the first message does arrive, it will be many weeks old. And if -God forbid - something sad did happen to Victor, Hugo, Gustl, father, for God's sake - not even to think of you and the children, would I be told the truth? However much I am looking forward to the first news from you, I am also afraid that it will be a cause of new sorrow! Don't laugh at me and don't tell me off for being crazy and imagining things, but so much can happen during that long terrible time. God have mercy with me and my loved ones! My dear, I could still write or rather lament, so much more but I only get more and more excited. I think only of you, I pray for you and hope that my prayer will be heard.

Bye little mouse! Thousand kisses!

© The estate of Otto Feldmann: Monica Lanyado, Tzafrah Shushan and Aya Shochat