31st March, 1915
Shkotovo

My only one! Today is the second day of Passover. Yesterday we improvised a festive dinner. A long table covered with a clean sheet, on a plate the prescribed things, the egg, the bone, the bitter herbs, a mazzoth. The Seder was led by an Honored Lieutenant. The meal consisted of two hard boiled eggs. The celebration may have been incomplete but it was also full of expression and very moving. I am convinced that all the participants thought yet more intensely of their homes, at least it was so with me. I was remembering the Passover evenings still in my parents house in Troppau, those I attended at your home in Bielitz and finally at Breslau with the Langers. That these memories led to painful feelings will not surprise you. This is again a turning point in the course of the year when, I would say, a change occurs in the manner of living. Winter is over, summer is coming.

I have to control myself forcibly not to loose my composure. Tomorrow it is 8 months since I left Breslau. Will I ever return there? The conditions in the laboratory will have changed a lot no doubt, so it is questionable whether I would have a place there yet. Our lovely flat! It is now exactly 2 years since we moved in. It is not that my heart is set on such trifles, in the present times that would be quite ridiculous, but the thought of how merry and happy we were makes me sad. On the other hand, my hopes hang on these memories. Can we not afterwards, when God has let me come home alive, be equally happy or even happier. I am not afraid of the future, I feel strong enough to win again a place in the sun if God protects me and gives me good health. This is now the most important thing.

The epidemic is spreading more and more. Yesterday the troops had 46 new cases, we had one, and no end is in sight. Illness, sickbed and death are our constant companions, and those who are spared are luck's special favorites. Will I be one of them? I hope God will protect me. I like to speculate about the future. The place that will be the setting for our future happiness is unimportant; I am sure we shall find one where we can build our nest. And then, my love, we will use every hour, every minute to be happy; this I want to do in an artful way, holding on to what each day brings us because only here in captivity have I learnt to value properly the wealth of bliss that emanates from you. Only for you and the children do I want to live, work and strive, to make your life as agreeable as possible.

And these plans- which of course cannot acquire concrete forms, take up much of my time and give me new hope and strength for survival. Always assuming that God will protect me from evil, sooner or later I will clasp you in my arms again and I will hold you as my personified happiness, as my sole love and my all. I only hope that you, my dearest, will pass through this time of hard trials safe and sound, and then our sun will rise once more and we shall begin to be happy anew. Farewell for today. I kiss you in true love.

© The estate of Otto Feldmann: Monica Lanyado, Tzafrah Shushan and Aya Shochat