10th April, 1919
10apr19

My dear little mouse! I am working tonight at "my factory" and I have taken my letter-book with me, to be able to talk to you a little during my break. And in this way I want to plant an oasis once again, in the desert of my thoughts. I have to be very careful on this little "dialogue par distance", otherwise the result will again be a never ending lamentation and that I do not want. Therefore, about myself I shall only say that materially, i.e., as far as my body is concerned, I am not doing too badly, but my spirit and mood are rather poor.

Just in the last days I had to live with emotions of a disagreeable nature, and more awaiting me in the next days. But as I said, no more about me. My thoughts fly to you! Child, how are you? The scarce news which we read in the newspapers here are certainly not reassuring. What a calamitous time! And yet so great! Why did just we have to be contemporaries of it: our happiness was too great! Shall we be happy once again? One might lose courage. But no, once I get back to you darling, I will not fear the future. The thoughts of you have given me strength at the most horrific junctures of this time heavy with suffering; how much more will your presence support and strengthen me.

Oh, if I were holding you in my arms already! No it is impossible to follow this thought, and even much less to express it on paper. I long to live through it and to experience it, to meet you and the children in good health, all else is unimportant to me! Regrettably, it is impossible to go on writing because I have to get up after every sentence and pay attention to my work. Kurti's birthday is next week, then I shall write a few lines again. My birthday was bleak and sad. Many, many kisses my only one!

© The estate of Otto Feldmann: Monica Lanyado, Tzafrah Shushan and Aya Shochat